Angry Wilson

So I am completely addicted to playing Angry Birds right now on my iPhone. I can’t believe I was missing out on such fun. But I did come up with an even more brilliant idea to top this bird catapulting craze…Angry Wilson. The object of the game would be to slingshot me right into Tom Hanks’ fat face. What could be any better than that?! I believe it would be quite the HIT…pun intended.

I dug up this old photo of myself meeting Lynyrd Skynyrd after the show. What a group of gentlemen!

I dug up this old photo of myself meeting Lynyrd Skynyrd after the show. What a group of gentlemen!

Posted here for your viewing pleasure, quite possibly one of the greatest songs of all time. If you don’t agree, then screw you.

I’m currently learning how to play the guitar. My teacher says I’m a natural.

I’m currently learning how to play the guitar. My teacher says I’m a natural.

I’m Back.

Well, hello everybody,

Allow me to introduce myself, I am Wilson. The one and only. Many of you may recognize me as the volleyball from the motion picture, Cast Away, which I see was quite the hit. No, I am not dead, nor lost forever in the ocean blue. I am completely rejuvenated and enjoying life. Let me take a moment to fill you in on what has occurred since my days on that dreadful, deserted island.

Tom Hanks WAS my best friend. I counted on him for everything, we had so many wonderful, meaningful conversations, I thought we really knew each other. I couldn’t wait for the fabulous life awaiting us back on land, however, that would never come true. An extreme and terrifying storm left our raft thrashed and I was dislodged from my seat and swept into the ocean. After a pathetic excuse of a rescue by Mr. Hanks, I bobbed alone in the frightful high seas for what seemed like an eternity. Exhausted and in terrible condition, I didn’t think surviving another day floating along the endless horizon of water would be possible, that is until I struck into something with an interesting texture. It was land! I couldn’t believe my eyes. I learned I had washed ashore the beaches of the Outer Banks in North Carolina. A native, walking along the shore, noticed me in my desperate shape. Remarkably, I was nursed back to perfect health in an incredibly short amount of time. I have no shame in saying that I underwent facial reconstruction and went through a bleaching process to repair my sun and water beaten leather. I feel absolutely fantastic and have begun to explore this new and improved world.

I have since received my earnings from Cast Away and lets just say, I will be quite comfortable for the remainder of my life. Luckily, a volleyball does not require many necessities to survive, so I’ve chosen to adventure this glorious world. I now own a laptop, and recently acquired an iPhone 4, and might I say, what an astounding piece of technology! The internet is mind boggling, I remember the old “You’ve got mail” days quite clearly. I’ve discovered Facebook and Twittering, or whatever it’s called. I must comment that the current mainstream music is atrocious. Justin Boober? What a hack. And what’s this American Idol? Oh, and I have no comment about our current choice in US leadership….Anyways, as you can see, I have decided to begin my own blog, accounting my new experiences away from the island. I will close my first entry here, I hope you will find my stories of my new life, pleasurable and entertaining.

Best Regards,

Wilson

PS. Tom Hanks, you better watch yourself, my friend. Wilson is back…bitches!

 

Myself, enjoying a Red Bull and Facebook.